Adam Ruins Death – OPENING MONOLOGUE

This will make you think.

Here’s a challenge. I want you to believe what I’m about to tell you. Not just hear it, not just understand it, but believe it.

It’s a fact that you already know to be true but have never been able to fully accept, and it’s this: you are going to die.

You, the person listening to me right now, are going to die.”

“It’s difficult to even imagine, isn’t it? Take a moment to try to picture not existing. You can’t do it.

You’re imagining darkness, black. But there will be no black. There will be no color because there will be no you to perceive it and your mind recoils from that idea.

It’s simply unable to conceive of its own non-existence, and so it concludes that it’s impossible. That you’ll live forever. But you won’t. All things end. All motion slows. All heat becomes cold.

Life is an eddy in that current of entropy. A brief chemical reaction that lights up the darkness and then it’s fuel spent dissipates back to nothing. Just like you will.

Your body is a marvelous and intricate machine built out of millions of interconnected, fragile systems and as you age each begins to slowly but surely deteriorate and breakdown.

When one fails a doctor may be able to repair it, but at some point there will be too many failures to proceed and like a cascade of dominoes your joints, your eyes, your heart, your lungs, your memory, your entire body will fail. It will happen.

And while it’s difficult to hear this truth, it is essential that you accept it because every second that goes by in which you don’t is a second of your precious and finite life that you risk wasting.

So I’m going to say it once more and this time, try as hard as you can to believe me.
You, yes you, will die. And there’s nothing you can do to stop it.”

Adam Conover
Adam Ruins Everything
TRU TV

Americans living in LeftyLand and RightyLand

Dave Ross KIRO-FM Guest Post

The latest diagnosis of America’s identity crisis is a report called “Hidden Tribes: A Study of America’s Polarized Landscape.”

And it finds that we have an extreme left, and an extreme right – which make up about a third of the population. And the remaining two-thirds belong to what the report calls “the exhausted majority.”

That is so true.

Two tribes are locked in an eternal battle over their opposite philosophies of government. With the rest of us in the crossfire, just waiting for the potholes to be fixed!

That’s why I’m urging some entrepreneur to open two gigantic residential theme parks: LeftyLand and RightyLand.

Rightyland would be a non-union seat belt-optional utopia with free-market health care, and a loaded and completely legal semi-automatic on every nightstand. LeftyLand would have an Environmental Impact Statement for every item in your reuseable shopping bag, require edible eating utensils, and pack every child in bubble wrap, with a support animal assigned at birth.

True believers could live out their fantasy in the park of their choice – subsidized by tourists who would line up in droves to see which of these competing versions of utopia is truly the happiest place on Earth.

Just one main rule: the two parks would have to direct their robocalls and death threats exclusively at each other, and leave the rest of us alone.