Americans living in LeftyLand and RightyLand

Dave Ross KIRO-FM Guest Post

The latest diagnosis of America’s identity crisis is a report called “Hidden Tribes: A Study of America’s Polarized Landscape.”

And it finds that we have an extreme left, and an extreme right – which make up about a third of the population. And the remaining two-thirds belong to what the report calls “the exhausted majority.”

That is so true.

Two tribes are locked in an eternal battle over their opposite philosophies of government. With the rest of us in the crossfire, just waiting for the potholes to be fixed!

That’s why I’m urging some entrepreneur to open two gigantic residential theme parks: LeftyLand and RightyLand.

Rightyland would be a non-union seat belt-optional utopia with free-market health care, and a loaded and completely legal semi-automatic on every nightstand. LeftyLand would have an Environmental Impact Statement for every item in your reuseable shopping bag, require edible eating utensils, and pack every child in bubble wrap, with a support animal assigned at birth.

True believers could live out their fantasy in the park of their choice – subsidized by tourists who would line up in droves to see which of these competing versions of utopia is truly the happiest place on Earth.

Just one main rule: the two parks would have to direct their robocalls and death threats exclusively at each other, and leave the rest of us alone.

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